I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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