1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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