yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize