Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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