I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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