So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Come see our sink grown plant.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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