i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize