I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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