I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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