She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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