i already hear my dad disowning me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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