It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize