Non-Jews are for practice
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize