I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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