Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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