Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
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Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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