Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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