I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
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security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
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We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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