This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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