Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize