If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize