Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize