i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
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