I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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