I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she smelled like a LAN party
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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