Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize