don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize