She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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