I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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