Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
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