hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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