just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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