omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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