Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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