I saw his package. It spoke to me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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