What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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