Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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