His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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