i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize