Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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