if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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