I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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