Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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