tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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