you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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