I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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