God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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