When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize