I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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