thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize